Web of Life

When I dropped in at Nimal Baappa's on Sunday, he was having a good laugh while reading a newspaper.

"Just look at this," he told me with his usual superciliousness. "Someone who's been to France has written that the French drink champagne instead of water."

I have never been to France and am therefore not in a position to verify for myself the truth of this statement. But, taking it on its face value, it left me with a good impression of the French as a happy, wholesome people who are making a determined effort to conserve water, a precious commodity.

When I pointed out that sobering fact to Nimal Baappa, he looked at me as if I were out of my mind.

"What makes you think they don't drink water?" he snapped. "Of course, they take water. But they drink wine during meal times. That's what our traveller has misunderstood."

I pointed out to Nimal Baappa that he lived in France some 40 years ago, when few people seemed to have heard of the word conservation. Certainly, the idea that water is a scarce resource and should be conserved would have been treated as a joke back then except by a few very knowledgeable people.

I began to think of parts of the world where water is precious. Why can't people be encouraged to drink wine instead? The Middle East, Sub-Saharan Africa, and our own Dry Zone, to mention but a few places.

In the Middle East, (as well as at home, the way things are going now) the religion would find such a move objectionable, at least as far as the masses are concerned. As for the princes - it is sobering to reflect upon the fact that the Mughal princes of India, as well as the Ottoman Turks, were very fond of light wines and many accomplished Mughals drank themselves to oblivion with nothing more lethal than a dry Martini (or its 16th century equivalent).

All this might lead to a protest lobby if any move is made to replace drinking water with wine. On the other hand, wouldn't tourists and immigrants flock to a country where wine gushes out of kitchen and bathroom taps? Wouldn't our cash-strapped country experience a tourist boom once again? Instead of our nationals fleeing to Italy in desperation, wouldn't the Italians come here and overstay their tourist visas?

Of course, I propose that wine should be consumed in moderation. The general belief is that six glasses of water a day are necessary to keep the kidneys healthy. As six glasses of wine a day would be a bit much, I propose two glasses of wine and four glasses of water a day. Those who really insist can make this three of wine and three of water.

On Poya days, everyone will drink water, and water only. No wine will gush out of the taps.

Nimal Baappa can remain smug. He has no taste for wine. He'll reach out any day for the hard stuff. When he was a student in Russia, it seems that even the Russians were stunned by his capacity for Vodka.

As for me, I don't drink wine due to a simple reason. I can't afford it. That's precisely why I look forward to the day when the United Nations will determine that wine costs less than water and will encourage wine drinking on a wider scale, especially in the poorer parts of the world (massive amounts of foreign aid will be channeled into the manufacture of wine in the third world. Much better, they can ship it straight from the wine cellars of France, Italy and Spain as foreign aid).

Let's not be overwhelmed by the logistics. There are, or used to be, vineyards in Jaffna. But wine can be made out of almost anything - rice, beetroot, carrot. I suppose it can be made out of old shoes and Nimal Baappa's discarded shirts.

Given the price of rice and beetroot these days, I suppose many will be discouraged from wine-making ventures. But this would amount to a defeatist attitude. Bottled water is hardly cheap. Besides, none of it is taken from the wonderfully crystal-clear mountain springs that are pictured on the labels stuck on these bottles. If you don't believe me, pause a little at the hillside brooks and waterfalls the next time you travel in the hill country. Ever seen people filling plastic bottles and labeling them near a waterfall?

This brings me to another important point: Water comes in plastic bottles, but wine comes in glass bottles. The distilled water that we put in our car batteries came in glass bottles (usually bottles which formerly held wine). But it is a sign of the times that battery water too, now comes in plastic bottles. Local wine production will rectify this situation.

By all means, let's think of our future generations, conserve water, and start drinking wine as the French do.